Ash’s first ever interview

In case you’re unaware of Downpatrick’s finest band, Ash are a teenage trio playing thrashy indie guitar tunes with pop sensibilities and lyrics which are far more serious and thought-provoking than you might expect from their outward appearances. They make me, a mere 20, feel old and pathetically actionless. They’re also good for jumping around your bedroom to on Saturday afternoons.

My experiences of Ash have been very inactive - I received copies of “Petrol” and Uncle Pat via my kind friend Stephen Known, also a Downpatrick resident and also best friend to Ash’s ex-manager (now chief letter opener) Bill McCabe. We found ourselves on the guest list for the forthcoming Elastica/Ash/Shriek show in Glasgow and was convinced to phone up and get myself an interview. October 18 duly arrived and I skived off Life Drawing (incurring great wrath upon my return) to bus to Glasgow. Our Glasgow-habiting friend Kim led the way to The Garage and we climbed the glittering stairs to reception where we were greeted by a, “You’re here for Elastic tickets, aren’t you?” in a “they’re all sold-out” voice. “No, we’re here to interview Ash”, I replied, a sentence which sounded very unconvincing. He looked suitable dubious, took my name and disappeared, only to return few seconds later to point the way backstage.

Whatever preposterous visions I had believed about dressing rooms were shattered upon entering a room full of coat-hangers, along with a guillotine (of the paper-cutting variety) and a selection of tables and chairs upon which we found Ash… They were very friendly and filled in our ‘amusing’ questionnaires with gleeful enjoyment while we sat around, everything being out of our hands, watching the actions of Tim as he wrote in the answers.

Here the, is that interview in full. For reasons known only to himself, Mark tried to impersonate stand in drummer James (real drummer Rick having turned into a pumpkin, or something) but we saw through his boyish larks in seconds.

Are you homesick?
Tim: Yes, a bit
Mark: No

Who was the first person to ask for your autograph?
Tim: My cousin I think
Mark: Hulk Hogan

First band you went to see?
Tim: Bon Jovi, 6th January 1990, King’s Hall Belfast
Mark: Us!

Do you feel seventeen when you play guitar?
Tim: Yeah I think so
Mark: Yes cause I am

Are you on a mission to make everyone feel old?
Tim: No. I want to make everyone feel young.
Mark: Yes

What was ’A Message From Oscar Wilde and Patrick the Brewer’ all about then?
Tim: I have some friends in Holland called Oscar and Patrick and they sent me over a tape of them talking and we took a bit from it and put it on the single. There’s another message on the album.

Do you like Oscar Wilde?
Tim: Of course I like him, he’s my mate.
Mark: Yes

Who’s Jack?
Tim: “Jack Names the Planets” is the title of a chapter in a book called The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub. I stole the title ’cos I thought it sounded good.

Do you like SMASH?
Tim: Yeah
Mark: I don’t - no.

Do you like Smash?
Tim: No, well it’s o.k.
Mark: Yes

Are you annoyed that your name rhymes with SMASH?
Tim: No, it’s cool
Mark: No

What’s your favourite… Ash song
Tim: Hulk Hogan Bubble Bath - one of the B-sides on the “Uncle Pat single - we recorded it with David Gedge of The Wedding Present.
Mark: “Intense Thing”

What’s your favourite… album
Tim: Doggy Style by Snoop Doggy Dogg
Mark: Goo - Sonic Youth

What’s your favourite… album
Tim: Don’t know
Mark: Anything Star Wars

What’s your favourite… animal
Tim: Dog or Cat or Mark
Mark: My cat

What’s your favourite… medicine
Tim: The cough medicine mum used to give me when I was wee. I can’t remember its name.
Mark: Cannabis

What’s your favourite… injection
Tim: None
Mark: Morphine

What’s your favourite… colour of Smarties
Tim: Nasty Green
Mark: No Preference

What’s your favourite… word
Tim: o.k.

What’s your favourite… cartoon character
Tim: None
Mark: Rugrats and Cap. Caveman

What’s your favourite… Elastica song
Tim: All of them
Mark: Stutter

Three reasons why Elastica are ace
Tim: Donna’s in them. Justin’s in them. They sound cool
Mark: Justine’s great in bed, Donna and Annie together are outrageous but Justin is fucking unbelievable.

Would you rather snog Justine or Donna?
Tim: Donna
Mark: Both at once!

What’s Justine’s home phone number?
Tim: Don’t know, Don’t care.
Mark: Only for me to know!

Do you believe in time travel?
Tim: Yes
Mark: Yes, that is who they are

Do you dream in colour?
Tim: Yes
Mark: No I dream by smell

Can you cook?
Tim: Sort of
Mark: No

What never fails to cheer you up?
Tim: Doing crazy fanzine interviews.
Mark: Northern Exposure

Do you have any irrational fears?
Tim: Fear of being controlled.
Mark: Fish

What television adverts really irk you?
Tim: I don’t watch TV much so I can’t really think of any which really do my head in.
Mark: All of them

Do you fall out of bed often?
Tim: I don’t think so - if I do it’s in my sleep and I get back in bed straight after.
Mark: No, I can’t.

What colour are your bin bags?
Tim: It varies between black and white.
Mark: Black, I can’t get gold.

Are you a coffee or a tea man?
Tim: Tea
Mark: Neither, just water.

What do you argue about with your mother?
Tim: Why she can’t do backing vocals in our band.
Mark: Everything possible.

How upset were you when New Kids On The Block split up?
Tim: I didn’t know they’d split up but it’s ruined my day now.
Mark: Devastated

Do you like any bizarre food combinations?
Tim: Yeah
Mark: No, I’m totally boring.

Are your school dinners tasty?
Tim: They’re ok
Mark: No

Where oh where has my little dog gone?
Tim: He’s on our tour van.
Mark: I’ve kidnapped, eaten and buried it!

Interview by Marceline Smith and Nicolette Smith