The Think Tank

Britain’s youngest rock n’ roll wastrels Ash on alien abductions, trashing hotel rooms, their heavy metal past and the merits of a quiet night in front of the telly.

Apparently you were unhappy wearing school uniforms for your Select photo-shoot?
Tim: “Yeah, it was pretty annoying to be stereotyped as schoolboys. Which is funny, ’cos it’s true.”

Are you wasting your youth?
“It’s wasting us. We’re all a bit of a mess at the moment ‘cos we had a bit to drink last night. How much? Quite a fuckin’ lot.”

How do you cope with hangovers?
“I don’t suffer from them, ‘cos I know when to stop - when your mind’s gone, but you’re still feeling great. How do you know when that is? Instinct.”

What are your vices?
“I’m a bit arrogant, act like a pop star. It’s just the attention-seeking part of my character. Blimey we’re on! Oh sorry we’ve just come on The Chart Show.”

What do your parents think of the band?
“They think we are ace. they came to see us last Christmas, although they don’t like the more violent aspect of live gigs, so, no they’re not down the front. They also didn’t like the song of ours called “Fuck You Up the Ass”. When we signed our publishing deal, they had to sign it for us, ’cos we were two young, and they said they’d only do it if we didn’t do that song any more. We still play it of course.”

You were a prefect at school. So were you the class swot?
“No not really. I did alright at school ‘cos I didn’t want to cause trouble for myself. Yeah, I did pass my A-levels. I got two Bs and a C. The C was in maths.”

Do you like jungle?
“I’m not familiar with it, to be honest. I think it’s alright but I wouldn’t buy it. But I don’t really need to, ’cos our T-shirt seller’s so into dance music he’s got tapes of it playing all the time.”

What record gets get you on the dancefloor every time?
“‘Ballroom Blitz’ by the Sweet.”

Staying in or going out, what’s best?
“I like staying in, just sitting at home watching a film, you get sick of all that rock n’ roll stuff ‘cos it keeps you out all the time anyway.”

Who in Ash is the best at Kung Fu?
“Mark (Hamilton, bass player) is the hardest. But I did thai jitsu for a while. It’s different ’cos you use weapons, although I never got that far. I stopped after it did my leg in. It does make you more confident, and I enjoyed throwing my mates around on mats. But it’d be no use now, ’cos I’ve forgotten it all.”

Are you aggressive?
“No, not really, I’m normally quite chilled. What makes me angry is feeling controlled.”

So who’s best, Van Damme, Chuck Norris or Kato from the Pink Panther movies?
“Van Damme’s naff, Norris uses weapons too much, so it’s got to be Kato, just cos he was in the Pink Panther.”

How was Japan?
“Great, the usual getting followed around by gangs of girls, which is fine - ’cos as fans go, they’re really sincere and dead pleasant. Although we got into a bit of trouble, and had a bill for hotel damage that was about £300 - Mark tried to put his head through a wall and we broke a lampshade.”

Mark: “It was a bit of a disgusting scene. I tried to ram the wall with my head, I’ve no idea why I did it. The best bit was the quilt. It had so many cigarette burns on it that we just decided to set fire to it and throw it out the window. We did look down before we threw it! And they said the carpet was ruined as well, but it only had a few stains on it. Why couldn’t they wash it? Three hundred quid was a bit steep, but I think they were annoyed ’cos a few guests checked out without paying, ’cos of the noise.”

Do you believe in UFOs?
Tim: “I’ve never thought about it. S’pose it could be true. people do talk about it in the same way they do ghosts, it’s a similar thing. Mark does though.”

Mark: “Why do I believe? I just do. I’ve seen weird lights… there’s a mountain near Newcastle where they hang out.”

What about abduction by aliens?
“I believe in that too. Someone in my family’s been abducted by aliens, but I don’t think it’s me. I know someone has because weird things happen that can’t be explained… Like one morning at breakfast, everyone feeling that something has happened, and knowing that it has without saying anything. But not knowing exactly what’s happened.”

Blur versus Oasis. Do you care?
Tim: “No, but I understand Oasis more. The Britpop thing is all a bit naff, but it’s good that people want to be in pop bands again, ‘cos pop music’s fun.”

Is it profitable fun?
“Well, it’s made me relatively well off for an 18-year-old. I could buy a car if I wanted, but I don’t need one. Don’t know about a house, but I still live at home anyway, and we’re going to be touring for about the next year.”

What was the first youth cult you joined?
“Heavy metal, I was into Iron maiden, that sort of thing.”

Did you have studded wrist bands?
“Ha, yeah, I do actually, just the one.”

What about a bullet belt.
“Oh God, yeah I had one of those too.”

Which metal bands did you like apart from Iron Maiden?
“Wolfsbane. And I’m really into Alice Cooper at the moment - my favourite tracks are “No More Mister Nice Guy“ and “I Love the Dead”.”

What’s the essential thing that people should know about Ash?
“That we’re amazing.”